jbiebs

tonight = a perfect mixture of finland and the united states; preparing a thanksgiving (friendsgiving was it??) meal for tomorrow and going to the sauna for an hour, dancing to waka waka and of course, since we're in finland, we had to go and run in the snow. with only our towels on, naturally. oh, how i'm gonna miss this crazy country and its traditions

the rest of the night can be described with this (kukka and anton, this one's for you!):

my sad life part 904850439583

today, it happened again...something that shouldn't happen. i was waiting for the tram in front of stockmanns, and since we've got this nice snow storm in helsinki, i decided to go in for a few minutes. i opened the door, and realized i was in the middle of men's cologne section....which doesn't ever mean anything good, unless if i am actually buying something for someone. suddenly a few minutes turned into...well, a much longer time. like always, some employee came to ask me if i needed help, and as always i thought of what to say to them; "no thank you, i just love sniffing these colognes for an hour at a time", "no thank you, i'm looking for a cologne for my imaginary boyfriend" or simply just "no thank you". i ended up saying "no thanks, i'm just looking around".

i've noticed that i get into the same situation whenever i wander through zara's and h&m's men's section. is it sad that i like to look at men's clothes more than women's? yeah, i thought so. someday someone will be so lucky to have me buy him clothes and colognes instead of myself, ha!

oh, happy thanksgiving you all :) remember to be thankful, especially for the people around you!

"If, for example, you come at four o'clock in the afternoon, then at three o'clock I shall begin to be happy."

last night i was laying on henna's couch. 2:32am. i was looking out the window, listening to henna and antti breath while sleeping. the sky looked orange, some snowflakes fell down from the sky. what a perfect last sight of kuopio, i thought. what a perfect last feeling. feeling of love, friendship, trust, happiness. feeling of sad goodbyes, hope of happy reunions. i was thinking about the best moments i had had in that city during these years, my dear hometown. i realised that almost all of those moments i had spent with the people i spent the weekend with. i love you guys, so so much. you know who you are.

this weekend was all about wedding planning, tears, hugs, bets, engagement pictures, traditions, sleeping back-to-back with henna (of course!), playing crazy alias, cooking tortillas and fajitas, reading the little prince (that's a link), girls' night, my home ward, hatsalankatu, siilinjärvi. i saw my best friend try on wedding dresses, which we've been waiting for since we were little girls. i couldn't resist walking on memory lane a few times, just wondering how much we've grown up. two of us girls are getting married in the beginning of 2011. mari is almost done with school, she's so hardworking, i admire that so much! i am moving to utah in 34 mornings. we all are going to do such big things with our lives.

this morning, at 8:24am i told kuopio goodbye as we took the exit towards helsinki. i'm a girl with many homes.

laskee uudelleen.........

randomness: i just booked my visa interview. for tomorrow morning, which is in about 10 hours. to make things even better, i've lost my voice, hence i sound like a tiny dinosaur (ok who am i kidding - my boss kept telling me how i sounded like him when he was 13..............). hahah, i'm so looking forward to this! it'll be interesting.

how did i get to this point? well. being sick and going to sweden isn't apparently the best match. but stockholm was great, once again. i had the best time with the best people - old and new. aki's swedish never let us down and stockholm's traffic was horrible (loved getting lost... i mean.. sightseeing tour on sunday). on our way back home we ate a big bag of chocolate and i got bruises in my wrists. i had also missed stockholm's temple, it felt like home.

i loved every second of it. this was a great last trip (in a while) to stockholm.

and of course.... buahah:

yö, natt, night, nuit. bussi, buss, bus, bus.

jokainen matka yöbussissa on seikkailu. jännää, miten oma mielentila säätelee koko kokemusta niin paljon.

väsyneenä läsähdät penkille ipod korvilla, nojaat ikkunaan ja suljet silmät tirkistellen säännöllisin väliajoin, että missä mennään (toisaalta välillä voi myös käydä klassinen nuku pysäkkisi ohi-skenaario). koko muu bussi tuntuu olevan aivan toisessa ulottuvuudessa, koska itse olet unen ja valveen rajamailla. jos ipod on jäänyt kotiin näinä päivinä, on bussimatka hyvin pilalla.

on niitä kertoja, kun kaikki on hasardia. bussissa on lauma humalaisia nuoria, joilla hyvää (ei aina niin hyvää) juttua riittää koko matkalle. kysymyksiä satelee, ja välillä toivot, että voisit jäädä pois seuraavalla pysäkillä. toisinaan on pakko laittaa ipod salaa pauselle ja kuunnella muiden juttuja, naureskellen yksin. jos hyvä tuuri käy, niin viereesi istuu vilhonvuoren kohdalla kevyesti haiseva laitapuolen kulkija, joka alkaa kertomaan elämätarinaansa. ihanaa.

sitten. on näitä öitä, kun istut penkille ei liian väsyneenä, mutta et liian pirteänäkään ja tarkastelet ympärillesi; ihailet helsingin ja moottoriteiden valoja, tarkkailet töölön ja kallion ylihinnoiteltujen asuntojen ikkunoita ja ulkona liikkuvia ihmisiä. ipodista tulee sigur rósia ja ajatukset liikkuvat sopivan harmonisesti. universumi tuntuu läheiseltä ja halattavalta.

i WILL survive

water, snow and hail (all at once)

-2 celsius

the freezing helsinki-wind that no words can describe

makes walking outside very enjoyable.

LOVE it!

lately:

-note to self: don't buy any new shoes or clothes (except for a few pairs of proper european skinny jeans... and some clothes from zara. and h&m. and monki.). you still can pack only 20 kilos with you = mission impossible
-i'm the worst at staying in bed when i'm sick. hence i've baked a red velvet chocolate cake, meringues and cooked some delish food. and maybe hung out with kukka (paras viikonloppu, nainen♥), anton, touko and jyry a lot....maybe.

-26.10.2010: äiti saa kaiken vaikuttamaan niin helpolta. tai, paremmin sanoakseni, tekee kaikesta sen arvoista. en voi käsittää sitä taitoa. aina kun minusta tuntuu, että seinät kaatuvat päälle, äiti pitää niitä ylhäällä niin pitkään, että ihse jaksan taas pitää niitä ylhäällä. viime aikoina näitä hetkiä on tullut ihan tosi paljon. sormeni ja varpaani eivät riitä laskemaan niitä iltoja, kun murheissani istahdan työhuoneen sohvalle häiritsemään äidin työntekoa, kyyneleet silmissä, tuntien halua luovuttaa tai murheita milloin mistäkin. kun olen vuodattanut kaiken stressini, sanoo äiti pari sanaa, ja ongelma on ratkaistu. it's amazing. she's amazing.

mulla on jäljellä seitsemän viikkoa ja kuusi päivää. jokainen päivä on yksi vähemmän, ja joka päivä kaikki alkaa vaikuttamaan todellisemmalta ja todellisemmalta. olen huomannut, että olen aloittanut miettimään asioita lähtönäkökulmalla. nämä ovat viimeisiä kertoja, kun kävelen suomalaisessa syksysäässä. kohta en enää käytä k-junaa helsinkiin mennessäni töihin. puhumattakaan ajatuksesta, joka muistuttaa, että pian en näe näitä ihmisiä joka päivä. mitenkä selviän ilman heitä? i've tried to save the goodbye-feeling for december, but it's so hard. i'm feeling it strongly already.

-two of my bestbest friends got engaged on the same day; i'm so happy for you girls♥♥

-registering for classes: check. i will die for boredom in 1st year swedish... what was i thinking?!

-4.11.2010: how often do we want things to go our way, which is usually the easiest, most convenient way? what if things don't go like we'd prefer? do we become discouraged and quit? i've been thinking about what i've done previously, and realized that too many times i haven't seen the beauty of the situation, the possibility to grow and learn patience and humbleness. now i realize it. and i am so grateful that everything hasn't gone the easiest way.

-we're going to stockholm for soulnite on friday! excitiiiinnnggg

-49 mornings. yikes.

-wrapping to a blanket and listening to music.

photobooth love

this is what you get when you buy a macbook pro and use it with your friends:
you have been warned. (i've got like 200 of these pictures + a million videos on my computer. you guys, i'm gonna be looking at these when i miss you in utah!)