äöäöäöäöäöäöäöäöäöäöäöäöäö

so many feelings at once. we've got this 15-year-old girl helping us at work for two weeks, and she probably thinks that we (=kirsi and i) are crazy people. i don't blame her, though. i would too, if i would see two people getting teary eyed every 10 minutes.

this week has been insane because of so many things. i should drive back to kuopio tomorrow, but i don't know if i have the energy to do so. on the other hand, grandpa needs so much help right now. dad has been teaching him how to use an atm. how to do laundry. how to go grocery shopping. i can't understand how anyone can survive alone after 60 years of marriage? that's SUCH a long time to live with someone! i can't even imagine what it feels like when the other half is suddenly gone.

i want to go see mummi in the hospital, sit next to her bed and just talk to her. she has been unconscious since monday. paralyzed and brain dead, but her big heart is still beating. there has to be a reason for that. we just don't know it yet.

to make this entry a bit happier, here's a list of this weeks pros:

+i get to wear my winter jacket! i've never ever had one i would like this much!

+the best friends & family anyone could ask for

+my fisheye...i love it more and more every day!

+a nice letter from uvu

+florence and the machine - cosmic love

+gc starts on saturday!!

fisheye

trying out my new baby.

weird day; apple pie, ben & jerry's, tears and thoughts. i always want to come out stronger than i really am. sometimes i get tired of it. today was one of those days. that's ok every once in a while, right?

KYS

i hate hospitals. the feeling you get when you walk through its hallways, especially when you know you're looking for someone you love so very much. dad called me on friday and told that mummi (his mom) had to go to the hospital for a brain stroke. we left to kuopio right away and spent many hours next to her hospital bed. my dear 88-year-old grandma was lying there looking so weak and tiny. there wasn't much we could do, even less anything she could. but still i know that it meant the world to her to have her family next to her. that meant the world to me, too.

she's doing ok now, we'll see how things change during these next few days. it's never ever easy to get ready to say goodbyes. no, farewells and see you laters, to be correct :)

what a weekend. didn't exactly go as planned. i am so ready to get some sleep now.

mummi-rakas, minä rakastan sinua.

dripping in gold

every day follows the same pattern. waking up at 7am, taking a shower, hopping on the train. helsinki, work for 8 hours. friends, coming home late, trying to get some sleep (which has for some reason been kind of hard this week). finland is getting dark and gray...but the finnish fall is so beautiful. i love it!

but now some sleep. waking up at 7am. shower. train......

pssst. this song is pure gold:

mari, remember when....

...we looked like this:

...we had a stalker profile on myspace.... jessica was it? laaaaame! haha

...we talked on the phone 3 hours a day

...mokkapala was the love of my life

...and rauhallinen poppi was yours.

...you started to listen to relient k....how did that happen again? ;)

...we didn't want to listen to any other songs than these:

numbers

wanna know a secret?

i've got this habit. every night at 22:22 i make a wish.

how can you not love it?

this week i have been super super hyper. anyone who has seen me has been able to tell that (especially the customers who see me laughing alone at work). and i don't know why.
simple things like singing high school musical songs with someone (touko and i totally are nerds). big things like hunting for an apartment from the other side of the world. the feeling of being loved by the people around you (&loving them back!). the feeling of being a part of a big plan.
...or then i've just been really jetlagged. i can't believe that it hasn't even been a week since i came back to finland. w e i r d!

ystävä

a fun road trip to jokela! man our laughs are LOUD together.

need a new hairstyle?

let ruski and laura handle the situation! the results will most likely look somewhat like this:
today we baked a really good mudcake at sami's place. today i got uvu's i-20 form in the mail. things are getting kind of serious! yikes.

kristykrist

way to spend your day at work: prepare your graduation pictures for sending. 50 envelopes, 50 thank you-notes, 50 pictures, 50 stamps, 50 names. write, put the picture and note in, close the envelope. glue the stamp, write the address. voíla!

i have got to get some sleep, gosh! last night i tossed and turned til 7am. i'm gunna try. good night everyone!

it's midnight and i'm starting to eat lunch

i'm back home. it doesn't really even feel like i would've been gone, how weird is that? luckily i've got a bunch of new memories (and pictures) that prove that there i was. for two and a half days. utah, i heart you! jetlag, i don't heart you so much.

passport, check. toothbrush, check. camera, check.

...and i am off! au revoir finland! see you in four days (i still can't believe i'm doing this...)

nananana

what a long, loooong day! work (five customers in 8 hours. new record). graduation pictures in the middle of nowhere (a bit late for that... i know....). helping ruska move back to her own apartment. and my own bags are still empty. well, tomorrow... right?
i'm flying so soon, crazy!

mmmhm

10 random things that have brougt me lots of joy tonight:
1. pictures of meerkats
2. pictures of elephants
3. helsinki by night
4. dad
5. mama
6. the cutest customer ever. she was so sweet!
7. this song:

8. phone call with henna
9. popsicles
10. these pictures:
friends, 2006, laughter, utah/arizona/nevada road trip, paris, new york, germany, coldplay, summer nights, adam solving the mystery of the missing chickens (& underwear)

a recipe for a great sunday:

2 hours of powerful words
7 awesome friends
a bunch of delicious tortillas
1 disney movie (the princess and the frog, it was SO good!!)
1 epic birthday card (why have i had this song stuck in my head for three months?)
a handful of good conversations
lots of laughter and joy
1 mama who is filled with wise thoughts
and these lyrics:

04092010

what a weird night.
ikea's blue bags and cardboard boxes have taken over my room, filled with my stuff. parts of my life.
sometimes i get very overwhelmed with everything that is happening, and just need to lay down on my soft carpet, put on good music and stop thinking.
even though i get weird nights like this, i feel like giving the universe a big, warm hug. it deserves it. the feeling of realizing something really big about life is the best feeling, and i have felt that very strongly these past few weeks.
i am so happy. (and so tired!)

rain(bow)

today was kind of gray.