Dec 22, 2010


"You can kiss your family and friends good-bye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you." Frederick Buechner

last night, 3:42am henna and i sat on the edge of my bed, both crying. we had just realized that those were the last hours we'd have together in a long time. this morning she left. we hugged for a long time, crying again. she left with her cheerful goodbyes.

tonight, at 3:42am i stood at the guys' hallway, saying my goodbyes to anton and jii. it felt surreal to hug them after spending almost every evening at their place during this fall. hugs, door open, "see you guys soon", door close.

4:25am, i am trying to get myself to sleep, knowing that i have to wake up for work in 3 hours. my last day at the job i have been working at for 5 years and 2 months. (ok, i'm stoked!)

can someone get used to this kind of changes? i think it's sad if yes. i know that this is all good, since i'm not doing it every year. the sadness i feel while saying goodbyes just tells that i've had stable and dear relationships that i'm going to miss, since it's not possible to nourish them as much when i'm 3800 miles apart. but i couldn't imagine putting myself through this many times in my life. maybe some people have a gift for that. if that's a gift? i don't know. i really need to get some sleep. i have no idea what i'm writing right now.

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