it's not too late to feel a little more alive

standing in a crowd of 15 000 people and feeling every single piece of the music going through your whole body. it is magical how that feeling makes you forget all about school applications, bank statements, tests, government papers, money, interviews, worries - basically every stressful thing in your life. there's just you and the music, and you're feeling like a million bucks.

i've come to the conclusion that half of the international applicants get tired of the idea of studying in the US during the time you have to get the application done. there's so dang many things to do; you have to be sure every single paper is the right one and has the right texts in them, arrange so many things and on top of that stress about moving to another country and building your life there. i've been losing sleep a lot these days because i've got so many questions on my mind when i go to bed; what if i don't have the right form? what if the government office sent me the wrong paper? what if i don't fit in? what if what if what if.

the funny thing is that even though the whole progress has taken a lot of time and energy, not for a second have i felt that i don't wanna go through it. i know that it's worth it, and i have the motivation to fight for it. kinda like life itself. sometimes hard, but always worth it. yah yah!

today i heard some great music with great company. broken bells, air, big boi, aeroplane, magnetic man. ahh! more to come tomorrow. soooo looking forward to that!